these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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