i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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