there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
