Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
