the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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