His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
