Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I have post one night stand depression
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