either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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