whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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