yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
