Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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