he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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