Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
