I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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