pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
