I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
