Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
