definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
