YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
