hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
