Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i out mim tonsoeep
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
