MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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