Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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