wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
