All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My balls are so social today.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize