I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
