ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
