No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
