I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
