Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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