I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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