Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
