I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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