At least make sure they are 18
Why
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
