peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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