I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
