it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
