another moral hangover. fuck.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
