Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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