Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize