I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
