He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
