i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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