when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
