Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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