He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
