You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
