Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
