is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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