We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
