I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
