but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
