We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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