Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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