A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
