if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
