Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
