I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
so much tequila, so little girl.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
