So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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