do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
