it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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