dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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