i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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