so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My vagina just clenched in fear
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
