He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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