first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
