The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
