Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
