just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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